Urgent recall! Potentially cursed shirts.
by Dominic Jackson·
It is with deep regret that last week an incel fell into one of our shirt machines and his pulped body coated hundreds of our products which were sent out to you, our beloved customers.
If you received your item covered in blood i'm afraid to say this wasn't a free bonus, it was a large manufacturing error caused by the blood and bones of a sexless young man being quadra mashed into oblivion by a large industrial tshirt printing machine.
Since this incident there’s talk around the dogecore headquarters that everyone has lost the ability to cum. One of our interns was masturbating for 5 hours last night and didn’t even come close to reaching climax. People are speaking in hushed tones around the water cooler about how the incel may have had tainted blood and a curse might now be on anybody who has had interactions with the gore stained clothing.
Some of the soiled clothing items have been seen to shake violently if worn around somebody you've a crush on or even scream when you go to have some private bathroom time away from the rest of your family
Because of this we’re urging all dogecore fans to burn their current dogecore merchandise and buy fresh new items.
I have burned all of my belongings to be on the safe side and now live feral behind an old church
I am naked right now in a cyber cafe
Thank you for setting me free
Instructions unclear, became incel, please advise