a great year for  britain

a great year for britain

by Dominic Jackson

Our lad, our big boy in the big office, sitting on the crumpet throne has coughed his way out of the ER and into our hearts.

As Dogecore is technically a British company, we were all excited when our boy our lad said it was going to be a great year for Britain. We all knew this cheeky scamp was going to right the ship, and sail GREAT Britain back to the good old days when we lorded over the entire globe, stole all your cool shit for our museums and sold all the opium to china.

Now its 2020 and China is selling all its fentanyl back to us. Our museums are full of stolen items and our teeth are worse than ever. As an insider to British politics and the inner workings of the nation dogecore has been privy to secret meetings of all the key business leaders. The whole gang was there, Dyson, Richard Branson, the guy who runs Greggs. We were told a number of major changes would be happening in the UK come May and we were forewarned… something we like to pay back to our loyal customers. Trickle down economics much?

-All double decker buses will be getting a third floor. This is to socially distance everyone on the top floor from the bottom floor. The middle floor will be used only by deliveroo drivers

-The queen will be doing weekly stints in the park, allowing herself to be projected upon so people can watch the latest Disney movies from her chest.

-Instead of financial help, tea, biscuits and a cheery ‘stay calm and stay indoors’ sticker will be delivered to every nation followed by a threatening letter to pay your TV license.

-‘PURGE’ licenses given to all avid huntsmen, allowing conservative minded individuals to hunt the homeless instead of foxes.

-The NHS to be replaced with a PRET a manger

-All red telephone boxes will become voluntary euthanasia boxes

-The BBC will just say fuck it and air ‘the triumph of the will’ back to back inbetween question time audience comments about how those were the good old days.

-Wigan pies to be outlawed as barbaric

-Frey Bentos to be knighted

-The red arrows will fly over the north of England in a 69 formation so everyone can look at the sky and say ‘nice’ for once.

Well that’s it, you heard it from us first. Please invest in dogecore. I love u

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