Having trouble getting out of bed today? Do you often think to yourself 'I'd sell my soul to my landlord if he would remove my bladder so I could stay…
Having trouble getting out of bed today? Do you often think to yourself 'I'd sell my soul to my landlord if he would remove my bladder so I could stay in bed longer'? I do. Sometimes when I'm laying in bed at 3pm having just woken up, I think about how good it would be to not have to leave the comfort of the blankets. On average a cat sleeps 12 - 18 hours a day, why can't I?
I called my boss and told him that I'm not coming in tomorrow. Either he lets me work from my bed or he can get to fuck. He told me that I can't make subway sandwiches from my bed as it goes against hygiene standards so I told him to go fuck himself and hung up. That evening I prepared for the rest of the weekend by moving a minifridge next to my bed and filling it with burger patties. On top of the fridge I placed a George Foreman grill, some ketchup, buns and 4 boxes of red wine. Alongside the fridge were 3 empty piss bottles and a bedpan I fashioned out of an old cowboy hat lined with clingfilm. A 56inch television loomed over the end of my bed with a 45+ hour long playlist on youtube entirely about the lore of Warhammer 40K ready to go.
I was going to do it. I knew the spirits of all the sleepyboys that came before were looking down on me that night as I drifted off to sleep to the hum of the little fridge next to me. The scent of wet wipes ready to go hung heavy in the air reassuringly . I was to be one man against nature. One man against god. Fuck getting out of bed, you can peel me from this mattress when I'm fused to it.
• Protects you from sleep paralysis demons
• 100% combed and ringspun cotton
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd²
• 30 singles thread weight
• Side-seamed
Size
Length
Width
XS
26" / 66cm
16 1/4" / 41/3cm
S
27” / 68.6cm
18 1/4” / 46.4cm
M
28” / 71cm
20 1/4” / 51.4cm
L
39” / 73.7cm
22 1/4” / 56.5cm
XL
30” / 76.2cm
24 1/4” / 61.6cm
2XL
31” / 78.7cm
26 1/4” / 66.7cm
Product measurements may vary by up to 2"(5 cm).
If you want to measure one of your products at home and compare:
Length
Place the end of the tape beside the collar at the top of the tee (Highest Point Shoulder). Pull the tape measure to the bottom of the shirt.
Width
Place the end of the tape at the seam under the sleeve and pull the tape measure across the shirt to the seam under the opposite sleeve.
Turn your garment inside out to avoid scratches and friction, keeping the printed area safe. Wash them with cold water—opt for temperatures at or below 30°C (86°F) to be gentle on the print, preventing fading or shrinkage. Use a delicate cycle—set your machine to around 600 rpm to minimize friction. Choose a soft detergent, as harsher ones can cause the ink to fade or discolor. Avoid fabric softener and dry cleaning, as they can be too harsh for the ink, degrading print quality. Additionally, avoid bleach; although it’s best not to use bleach, you can opt for a non-chlorine bleach if necessary.
SHIPPING
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We ship worldwide. All of our items are printed to order, especially for you. This is to ensure we create no waste by creating a terrible design nobody likes and having to donate 420 preprinted tshirts to landfill. With this in mind, please contact us immediately, if you need to make any adjustments to your order (size/colour changes).
Orders are being printed and sent out daily throughout the week directly from our printing fulfillment centres located in the EU, USA and the UK. Your order will be fulfilled from the nearest print centre to your shipping location.
Current fulfillment time is 1-5 days depending on the items ordered. Usual delivery times are 3 business days after fulfilment for the USA, 5 for the EU and 10 for the rest of the world.
You will receive a tracking link once your order is shipped. Don't be surprised if you only received one part of your order as some items may be shipped from different warehouses depending on stock availability, so will have different delivery times.
If you're unsure about anything please contact us and we will reply within 24 hours. I spend a lot of time at my computer crying so usually I respond, tearfully, within an hour.
RETURNS
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You have 14 days from the arrival date of your order to return your items. We accept returns on unworn, unwashed clothing, that doesn't smell of the tesco cologne you stole from your father.
Don't be shy to reach out to us if there's any problems or you have any queries, we're extremely lenient and making sure you are happy is really important to us.
Returns need to be shipped back to the address listed on your packing slip. You will be expected to pay the return shipping cost. If you need to return someting, contact us for further instructions.
Manufacturer contact information: - Name: Printful - Email address: support@printful.com - Postal address: Raina bulvaris 25, Riga, Latvia, LV-1050 - Age restrictions: For adults - EU Warranty: 2 years
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