Having trouble getting out of bed today? Do you often think to yourself 'I'd sell my soul to my landlord if he would remove my bladder so I could stay in bed longer'? I do. Sometimes when I'm laying in bed at 3pm having just woken up, I think about how good it would be to not have to leave…
Having trouble getting out of bed today? Do you often think to yourself 'I'd sell my soul to my landlord if he would remove my bladder so I could stay in bed longer'? I do. Sometimes when I'm laying in bed at 3pm having just woken up, I think about how good it would be to not have to leave the comfort of the blankets. On average a cat sleeps 12 - 18 hours a day, why can't I?
I called my boss and told him that I'm not coming in tomorrow. Either he lets me work from my bed or he can get to fuck. He told me that I can't make subway sandwiches from my bed as it goes against hygiene standards so I told him to go fuck himself and hung up. That evening I prepared for the rest of the weekend by moving a minifridge next to my bed and filling it with burger patties. On top of the fridge I placed a George Foreman grill, some ketchup, buns and 4 boxes of red wine. Alongside the fridge were 3 empty piss bottles and a bedpan I fashioned out of an old cowboy hat lined with clingfilm. A 56inch television loomed over the end of my bed with a 45+ hour long playlist on youtube entirely about the lore of Warhammer 40K ready to go.
I was going to do it. I knew the spirits of all the sleepyboys that came before were looking down on me that night as I drifted off to sleep to the hum of the little fridge next to me. The scent of wet wipes ready to go hung heavy in the air reassuringly . I was to be one man against nature. One man against god. Fuck getting out of bed, you can peel me from this mattress when I'm fused to it.
Garment-dyed, heavyweight cotton T-shirt with a relaxed fit and a direct-to-garment print made with Oeko-Tex™ certified inks. It's pre-shrunk, so no need to worry about shrinkage. To avoid any fading or cracking of the print simply follow our wash care instructions.
Above model is 6" / 183cm
Above model is 5.5" / 167cm
Size Guide (in / cm)
Size
L
W
S
S
26⅝ / 67.6
18¼ / 46.4
16¼ / 41.3
M
28 / 71
20¼ / 51.4
17¾ / 45
L
29⅜ / 74.6
22 / 56
19 / 48.3
XL
30¾ / 78
24 / 61
20½ / 52
2XL
31⅝ / 80.3
26 / 66
21¾ / 55.2
3XL
32½ / 82.6
27¾ / 70.5
23¼ / 59
4XL
33½ / 85
29¾ / 75.6
24⅝ / 62.6
L = Length · W = Width · S = Sleeve ±2" / 5 cm variance
To measure at home: Length – top shoulder to bottom hem Width – armpit to armpit Sleeve – top of sleeve to cuff
Turn the garment inside out to protect the print. Wash in cold water (30°C/86°F) on a delicate cycle (around 600 rpm) using a soft detergent. Avoid fabric softener, bleach (even non-chlorine if possible), dry cleaning, and using a dryer to prevent fading, shrinkage, or damage to the print.
Shipping & Delivery
Please contact us immediately if you need to adjust your order.
Avoid parcel lockers and PO boxes; they often cause delivery issues.
All orders ship with tracking; if you don’t get tracking within 5 business days, contact us.
If your order is lost in the mail, we replace it on us.
Processing & transit times
Processing: 2–5 days.
Delivery: 3 business days (USA), 5 (EU & UK), 10 (rest of world), longer during holidays.
Returns & exchanges
14 days from delivery to return.
Items must be unworn and unwashed.
Returns go to our USA, UK, or EU warehouses; you cover return shipping.
amazing, I'm so happy with my tshirt, so comfy and the print is great quality
J
Jed
Nice quality tshirt
Nice quality tshirt, fun design!
J
Julian
Shirt feels very high quality and i love the cute kitty!!!
C
Charlie
I genuinely love the vibes of this company, the shirt is an amazing quality and very comfortable, and the little message in the receipt is very cute
S
Sarah
10/10 quality. Came in relatively quick. Very impressed with the quality of the shirt itself and the design as well. Will definitely be recommending and purchasing from again.
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