As a highly adaptable bug, I was able to learn the saxophone to a master level in only 6 hours. Albeit my mind was totally jacked up on modafinil and alpha power supplements I had illegally imported weeks prior but what's important here is the sweet music I was now able to make, down at the beach to anyone who…
As a highly adaptable bug, I was able to learn the saxophone to a master level in only 6 hours. Albeit my mind was totally jacked up on modafinil and alpha power supplements I had illegally imported weeks prior but what's important here is the sweet music I was now able to make, down at the beach to anyone who would listen.
My soul was fine tuned to the invisible jazz resonance of the world and I let it flow through my every movement, all of my limbs licking the buttons of the saxophone like I was making love to it as my mandibles kissed the reed and I blew into it, as if I was reinflating a caprisun or if I was spitting bobba tea balls at my grandma.
The dolphins crawled out of the ocean on their bellies to watch me play and they died there, on the sand, as I played my sad ocean jazz.
Heavyweight (8.5 oz/yd² | 288.2 g/m²) hoodie with direct-to-garment print. Made in WRAP-certified facilities.
Size
Length
Width
S
27” / 68.6cm
20” / 50.8cm
M
28” / 71cm
21” / 53.3cm
L
29” / 73.7cm
23” / 58.4cm
XL
30” / 76.2cm
25” / 63.5cm
2XL
31” / 78.7cm
26 1/2” / 67.3cm
3XL
32” / 81.3cm
28” / 71cm
Product measurements may vary by up to 2"(5 cm).
If you want to measure one of your products at home and compare:
Length
Place the end of a measuring tape beside the collar at the top of the garment (high point shoulder). Pull the tape to the bottom of the item.
Width
Place the end of a measuring tape at one side of the chest area and pull the tape across to the other side of the product.
Turn your garment inside out to avoid scratches and friction, keeping the printed area safe. Wash them with cold water—opt for temperatures at or below 30°C (86°F) to be gentle on the print, preventing fading or shrinkage. Use a delicate cycle—set your machine to around 600 rpm to minimize friction. Choose a soft detergent, as harsher ones can cause the ink to fade or discolor. Avoid fabric softener and dry cleaning, as they can be too harsh for the ink, degrading print quality. Additionally, avoid bleach; although it’s best not to use bleach, you can opt for a non-chlorine bleach if necessary.
Shipping & Delivery
Please contact us immediately if you need to adjust your order.
Avoid parcel lockers and PO boxes; they often cause delivery issues.
All orders ship with tracking; if you don’t get tracking within 5 business days, contact us.
If your order is lost in the mail, we replace it on us.
Processing & transit times
Processing: 2–5 days.
Delivery: 3 business days (USA), 5 (EU & UK), 10 (rest of world), longer during holidays.
Returns & exchanges
14 days from delivery to return.
Items must be unworn and unwashed.
Returns go to our USA, UK, or EU warehouses; you cover return shipping.
One or more of the items in your cart is a recurring or deferred purchase. By continuing, I agree to the cancellation policy and authorize you to charge my payment method at the prices, frequency and dates listed on this page until my order is fulfilled or I cancel, if permitted.
