From the moment you break out of the meat prison that is your mother, you're trapped in the maximum security gay baby jail that is your own flesh until the end.you were born into this world screaming and crying, flailing your little dumbass arms around and you'll continue to do this for like 69 years until you finally pass into…
From the moment you break out of the meat prison that is your mother, you're trapped in the maximum security gay baby jail that is your own flesh until the end.
you were born into this world screaming and crying, flailing your little dumbass arms around and you'll continue to do this for like 69 years until you finally pass into the void.
Or is the story of death and rebirth real? Are we stuck in a sad loop of crying and screaming until the heat death of the universe? Who knows, this cat sure fucking doesn't.
Heavyweight (8.5 oz/yd² | 288.2 g/m²) hoodie with direct-to-garment print. Made in WRAP-certified facilities.
Size
Length
Width
S
27” / 68.6cm
20” / 50.8cm
M
28” / 71cm
21” / 53.3cm
L
29” / 73.7cm
23” / 58.4cm
XL
30” / 76.2cm
25” / 63.5cm
2XL
31” / 78.7cm
26 1/2” / 67.3cm
3XL
32” / 81.3cm
28” / 71cm
Product measurements may vary by up to 2"(5 cm).
If you want to measure one of your products at home and compare:
Length
Place the end of a measuring tape beside the collar at the top of the garment (high point shoulder). Pull the tape to the bottom of the item.
Width
Place the end of a measuring tape at one side of the chest area and pull the tape across to the other side of the product.
Turn your garment inside out to avoid scratches and friction, keeping the printed area safe. Wash them with cold water—opt for temperatures at or below 30°C (86°F) to be gentle on the print, preventing fading or shrinkage. Use a delicate cycle—set your machine to around 600 rpm to minimize friction. Choose a soft detergent, as harsher ones can cause the ink to fade or discolor. Avoid fabric softener and dry cleaning, as they can be too harsh for the ink, degrading print quality. Additionally, avoid bleach; although it’s best not to use bleach, you can opt for a non-chlorine bleach if necessary.
Shipping & Delivery
Please contact us immediately if you need to adjust your order.
Avoid parcel lockers and PO boxes; they often cause delivery issues.
All orders ship with tracking; if you don’t get tracking within 5 business days, contact us.
If your order is lost in the mail, we replace it on us.
Processing & transit times
Processing: 2–5 days.
Delivery: 3 business days (USA), 5 (EU & UK), 10 (rest of world), longer during holidays.
Returns & exchanges
14 days from delivery to return.
Items must be unworn and unwashed.
Returns go to our USA, UK, or EU warehouses; you cover return shipping.
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