• im no longer baby
  • im no longer baby

im no longer baby

Regular price £20.00

Is this you?  Are you this little dog?  Is this your vibe?  Same.  For most of my entire life I feel like I have been infantilized by people who believe that just because they've smoked cigarettes longer than I have that they have some kind of aged wisdom over my own experiences and there for know better.

But they're ignorant.   Ignorant of their own passage through time and their actions, unable to see the stones that have fallen to get to this point.  Unable to even recognize how their own actions and voting habits could have led up to whatever bullshit conversation ruined the family dinner.  Our governments are controlled by a whole generation of people who have been huffing leaded gasoline most of their lives and rotting their brains trying to work out why people aren't buying Yachts and houses anymore.  Why are young people not buying diamonds?  At the same time they're yelling that if you spread avocado on your toast you have forfeit the right to have a house.  Mark Zuckerberg got all his aluminium joints oiled up and went in front of congress and had to explain the internet to the people in charge by saying shit like "The internet is a series of pipes".

You'd think that with a this fountain of information we have available to us now we would be in a golden age.  But instead these 'pipes' Mark refers to have been chocked full of so much bullshit that instead of everyone being enlightened with facts, reflecting on our shared history as a species you've got your mother on her phone thinking there's mole children being sexually abused beneath the Getty museum. 

I truly believe, as I write this, we are living in a time of revolution where the democratic world as we see it is being dismantled.  Not in a good or constructive way but in a shit and miserable way like when you cant make it to the toilet to be sick so you throw up all over the floor and pass out.  That's basically life right now and the toilet might as well be down the road behind a paywall.

Size Length Width
XS 26" / 66cm 16 1/4" / 41/3cm


27” / 68.6cm

18 1/4” / 46.4cm


28” / 71cm

20 1/4” / 51.4cm


39” / 73.7cm

22 1/4” / 56.5cm


30” / 76.2cm

24 1/4” / 61.6cm


31” / 78.7cm

26 1/4” / 66.7cm



Product measurements may vary by up to 2"(5 cm).

If you want to measure one of your products at home and compare:


Place the end of the tape beside the collar at the top of the tee (Highest Point Shoulder). Pull the tape measure to the bottom of the shirt.


Place the end of the tape at the seam under the sleeve and pull the tape measure across the shirt to the seam under the opposite sleeve.


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Our printed apparel can be machine-washed cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with a mild detergent and like colors. Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary. You shouldn't use any fabric softeners or dry-clean the items.


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We ship worldwide. All of our items are printed to order, especially for you. This is to ensure we create no waste by creating a terrible design nobody likes and having to donate 420 preprinted tshirts to landfill. With this in mind, please contact us immediately, if you need to make any adjustments to your order (size/colour changes).

Orders are being printed and sent out daily throughout the week directly from our printing fulfillment centres located in the EU, USA and the UK. Your order will be fulfilled from the nearest print centre to your shipping location.

Current fulfillment time is 1-5 days depending on the items ordered. Usual delivery times are 3 business days after fulfilment for the USA, 5 for the EU and 10 for the rest of the world.

You will receive a tracking link once your order is shipped. Don't be surprised if you only received one part of your order as some items may be shipped from different warehouses depending on stock availability, so will have different delivery times. 

If you're unsure about anything please contact us and we will reply within 24 hours. I spend a lot of time at my computer crying so usually I respond, tearfully, within an hour.



You have 14 days from the arrival date of your order to return your items. We accept returns on unworn, unwashed clothing, that doesn't smell of the tesco cologne you stole from your father. 

Don't be shy to reach out to us if there's any problems or you have any queries, we're extremely lenient and making sure you are happy is really important to us.

Returns need to be shipped back to the address listed on your packing slip. You will be expected to pay the return shipping cost. If you need to return someting, contact us for further instructions.