• end my pain
  • end my pain
  • end my pain

    end my pain

    Regular price £20.00
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    I met her on Tinder.  Her profile said she was really into anime so I opened with 'what is your favorite anime?  I love Neon Genesis Evangelion as I really…

    I met her on Tinder.  Her profile said she was really into anime so I opened with 'what is your favorite anime?  I love Neon Genesis Evangelion as I really relate to Shinji' and she replied that she really liked Steven Universe which was a bit weird but maybe some people consider that anime.  It's a whole new world out there where anything could happen.  We didn't talk much before she asked me if I would like to take her out for dinner.  I liked this lady, she was very forward with her wants in life.  I often find myself unsure of what to do so having somebody just tell me makes my life a lot easier.  Yesterday I wasn't sure whether to eat soup or make a sandwich and in the end I just sat there unable to eat because I couldn't decide.

    I thought it would be appropriate to take her for Sushi as we were both lovers of Japanese animation.  I wondered before the date if I should ask her if she liked hentai but I figured I could leave that until later in the evening after maybe 5-11 Saki's.  She said she loved sushi and we agreed to meet at 8pm the following evening.

    I dressed sharp for the date.  A nice suit (smart casual) with my trusty Casio watch (retro cool) and I doused myself in cologne my mother had bought me for Christmas.  I was feeling cool. Before I left the house I pulled a cool pose in the mirror and thought of how tall I would feel if I ever went to Japan. I was waiting outside the restaurant when I spotted her walking up and I wasn't sure if it was her at first... She looked different and a bit like she had just woken up.  Her hair was a mess and she was wearing an oversized Tshirt with stains on it with the words 'BIG TRUCK' and an image of a truck.  Did she put any effort in at all?

    "Hey it's me, Annie, lets do this" she said and before I could reply or even say hello she walked into the sushi restaurant.

    I was a bit taken a back but I haven't had sex in over 4 years so at this point she could have probably kicked me in the balls and I'd have still carried on with the date.  I walked in behind her and got us to our table.

    She was sat across from me playing with her phone and occasionally laughing to herself.

    "Soo erm... Yeah I was watching attack on Titan last night... Those giants sure are big haha" I said nervously and she looked up at me like I was a stranger on the bus or something.

    The waiter came over fairly quickly and I was thankful, this is awkward as fuck.  Now's my chance to impress I thought.  Lets hope 5 years of duolingo finally pays off.

    "Kon'nichiwa u~eitā watashi wa katamari no sakana no temakirōru to buta no kōmon gyōza no sokumen to watashi no utsukushī hidzuke ga sukinamono de Supamu sashimi o chūmon shitai to omoimasu."

    I said with, in my opinion, a perfect accent (that didn't sound racist) before giving a little bow.  The waiter seemed impressed and scribbled some stuff down.  He then looked over at my date who said

    "Yeah I'll have the chips please.  Just chips."

    And then went back to her phone.  I cant fucking believe this shit.  What is going on.  I got bored of being ignored so I got my own phone out and started playing a 5 minute game of chess to distract myself.

    When the food arrived, she ate it rather fast whilst I failed to use my chop sticks so just gave up and started to use my hands like some kind of caveman.  A table next to us looked at me like I was a joke and I just stared at them whilst shoveling fish and rice into my mouth until they looked away from me.  I had given up at this point.  Fuck my life, fuck this girl.

    When she was finished eating, she said

    "I'm leaving.  No hard feelings but I just go on these dates because people buy me food as I'm too lazy to cook.  Oh and by the way even a fucking idiot can use chopsticks, grow up." before standing up and walking out of the restaurant.  I was... In shock, in awe.  My mouth dropped and I felt like how Jordan Peterson looks.  Just sad and broken.  The waiter came over and handed me the bill and even he was laughing at me.  If I had a knife instead of a chopstick in my hand I would have committed seppuku at that very moment.  But instead I paid the bill and went home and masturbated for 5 hours to weird hentai and cried myself to sleep.

    • Get Free pity sushi at your local dive sushi restaurant
    • Hello Doggy, don't cry
    • 100% combed and ringspun cotton
    • Side-seamed, unisex sizing

    Customer Reviews

    Based on 1 review

    Looks amazing, definitely should’ve ordered a large instead of a medium but the print is great