Monkey see monkey do.  Monkey doo doo?  At what point did we decide we all had to wipe our own asses because I don't see any other animal doing the same and they got along just fine.  Hell dogs don't wipe AND they greet one another with a big old butt huff.  So why was I politely asked to leave the dentist earlier because of my 'odour'.  Well jokes on you pal, I've min maxed my day by not wiping, I now have an extra 2 minutes every day to watch cool monki videos on my phone whilst you're out there, a slave to society.  Break free of your chains brother.  I'm only doing this until I can afford a bidet so I can keep my ass so clean you could eat off of it and that's kinda in the ballpark of what i'm looking for in life.