• capybara wizard
  • capybara wizard

capybara wizard

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Heavyweight (8.5 oz/yd² | 288.2 g/m²) sweatshirt with direct-to-garment print on the front. Made in WRAP-certified facilities.

 

I guess its hard to really describe the moment I went from being a regular capybara to a wizard capybara, but I remember looking at the stream in front of me for fish and in that moment,I pondered not only the fish, but why I needed them.

He was tall in a long robe, with a rat on his shoulder and a frog on his head, blocking out the sun as he towered over me.  He knelt down.

"Whatcha upto lil' lady?" He asked me. I felt like I had awoken from a dream that I couldn't explain.

"Erm well I was just waiting patiently to see if some fish might come by.  I threw some shiny pebbles into the stream to attract them but I don't know if it will work.  Patience is an unlimited length of string, it has no end." I told the man.  He looked out over the lake quizzically.  Then he looked around himself and found a smooth oval stone and threw it along the lake, it skipped 5 times across the surface tension of the lake before the stones momentum came to rest and it sunk to the bottom.

The rat on his shoulder whispered something in his ear and he threw another rock that bounced on the water, and with each bounce a rat wizard emerged on the stones bounce along the lake in different poses getting more manic until they came to an end.

"I have a family to feed, but the fish do not come to my call... I thought I was quite talented at convincing them to come my way with my words but I am old." I told the wizard, shamefully.

"Are you using these shiny rocks to bring them close?" He asks, his arm outstretched indicating over to the area where I had arranged the old shells of beautiful crabs to fool the fish into thinking this area was like a cool aquatic jazz scene from the 40's.  Layers of shells forming an area for them to enter into a huge lobby, made up of thousands of iridescent shells I have collected over the years moulded into a perfect  under water construction.

"I've spent years  building this place for them.  I want them to see it and think 'You're not a fish anymore! You're in the lobby of the Chrysler building when you enter that lift, it will take you all the way to the top.  Where you will sing on your beautiful fish song from the top of the world!'" But then I bash they head in with my hoof.  I think it is a good way to go out but lately nobody is falling for it.  I sit here all day staring at my beautiful trap but the fish know the gig is up.  It was good whilst it lasted."

The wizard stroked his chin and admired my perfect recreation of the New York Chrysler building I had built out of crawfish shells over the last seven years and told me..

"You know what, lets work together, lets..(I don't know why he did it but he paused for dramatic effect as thought I would understand) get this party started." And he looked and me and with insane, wild eyes spoke

"SHAGAMBLOTHMAOPooIHA"

And returned to looking at me normal.  He then said..


"I've given you you the most beautiful siren call of all, go in the water, tell these water breathers how cool your club house is."

And so I did... I rested my nose and muzzle into the lake and I sang from my heart in a way that no words could describe, but i could feel it inside, its power.

The fish came so quickly, swarms of them leaping on the shore trying to get to me and my voice, flowing into my little hotel jazz building.  The hotel lobby was swarming with fish and they were drowning on the banks of the shore trying to get close to me.

"Bit grim this." The toad on the wizards head said. 

"Yeah I think I might have gone a bit overboard...Erm, choose one, it will join us." He said, falling backwards casually into some ferns like it was a couch.

All around me, hundreds of fish, throwing themselves blindly out of the water, onto the sand, onto the mud.  I watched them bounce off one another, far from the water, doomed, all because of that one call, all because of me.

I just wanted one fish.

On top of my little construction of shells loosely resembling the New York Chrysyler building was a fish, flopping unhappily out of its element and I shouted to the wizard

"That one!"

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Our printed apparel can be machine-washed cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with a mild detergent and like colors. Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary. You shouldn't use any fabric softeners or dry-clean the items.

SHIPPING

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We ship worldwide. All of our items are printed to order, especially for you. This is to ensure we create no waste by creating a terrible design nobody likes and having to donate 420 preprinted tshirts to landfill. With this in mind, please contact us immediately, if you need to make any adjustments to your order (size/colour changes).

Orders are being printed and sent out daily throughout the week directly from our printing fulfillment centres located in the EU, USA and the UK. Your order will be fulfilled from the nearest print centre to your shipping location.

Current fulfillment time is 1-5 days depending on the items ordered. Usual delivery times are 3 business days after fulfilment for the USA, 5 for the EU and 10 for the rest of the world.

You will receive a tracking link once your order is shipped. Don't be surprised if you only received one part of your order as some items may be shipped from different warehouses depending on stock availability, so will have different delivery times. 

If you're unsure about anything please contact us and we will reply within 24 hours. I spend a lot of time at my computer crying so usually I respond, tearfully, within an hour.

RETURNS

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You have 14 days from the arrival date of your order to return your items. We accept returns on unworn, unwashed clothing, that doesn't smell of the tesco cologne you stole from your father. 

Don't be shy to reach out to us if there's any problems or you have any queries, we're extremely lenient and making sure you are happy is really important to us.

Returns need to be shipped back to the address listed on your packing slip. You will be expected to pay the return shipping cost. If you need to return someting, contact us for further instructions.  

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