• life is a circus
  • life is a circus

life is a circus

Regular price
I turn on the TV in a morning and there he is the same old clown.  He's telling me that the country will never run out of toilet paper ever again since he did the new deal with the old clowns and in return they'll be buying all our stupid little cars.  Seems like a fucked up deal to me but what do I know?  I put on my oversized shoes and make myself a coffee dwelling over the fact its election day.  I have to go to the big top to do my part and vote in the next set of clowns.

Who should I vote for this time?  Why does it matter?  Each clown is the same but puts on a new stupid face to amuse me every time.  I honk my red nose in disgust at them all.  After I've had my morning coffee and smoked a cigarette on my balcony whilst watching the dolphins perform in the pool in front of my building I go to take a shit before I go to work and lo and behold.  He was not kidding.  We really do have unlimited toilet paper now.  When I go to grab what I thought was the last piece another appears out of nowhere and a never ending stream of colourful toilet papers roll into my hand.  At least I can use this to wipe away the stains of reality but the smell will still remain.

Outside I get into my clown car and 9 other clowns pack in tightly around me.  It's a smug fit but the ride share app I am using is telling me that I am saving the planet whilst making some money.  Just what I need, some more money to buy clown makeup because my current paints have started running with the heat.    It's not long until we arrive at the big top which is where we are all registered to vote.  When I pull up, all the doors fly off the car and the wheels fall away and everyone disembarks.  I sigh, typical.

I'm last in the line to vote now and I look at the card and its options.  I can either vote for the clown that is going to make me freeze to death this winter but will give me a cool holographic sticker on my passport or vote for a different clown that will also make me freeze to death this winter but offers the potential for a butterfly landing on my ear in a comedic fashion at some vague point in the future.  I don't really know what I'll do to be honest.  Everyone around me is crying as we continue this every day charade.




• 100% cotton
• Classic fit with long sleeves and rib cuffs
• Pre-shrunk jersey knit
• Seamless double-needle 7⁄8'' (2.2 cm) collar
• Double-needle bottom hem
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the middle

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Our printed apparel can be machine-washed cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with a mild detergent and like colors. Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary. You shouldn't use any fabric softeners or dry-clean the items.

SHIPPING

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We ship worldwide. All of our items are printed to order, especially for you. This is to ensure we create no waste by creating a terrible design nobody likes and having to donate 420 preprinted tshirts to landfill. With this in mind, please contact us immediately, if you need to make any adjustments to your order (size/colour changes).

Orders are being printed and sent out daily throughout the week directly from our printing fulfillment centres located in the EU, USA and the UK. Your order will be fulfilled from the nearest print centre to your shipping location.

Current fulfillment time is 1-5 days depending on the items ordered. Usual delivery times are 3 business days after fulfilment for the USA, 5 for the EU and 10 for the rest of the world.

You will receive a tracking link once your order is shipped. Don't be surprised if you only received one part of your order as some items may be shipped from different warehouses depending on stock availability, so will have different delivery times. 

If you're unsure about anything please contact us and we will reply within 24 hours. I spend a lot of time at my computer crying so usually I respond, tearfully, within an hour.

RETURNS

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You have 14 days from the arrival date of your order to return your items. We accept returns on unworn, unwashed clothing, that doesn't smell of the tesco cologne you stole from your father. 

Don't be shy to reach out to us if there's any problems or you have any queries, we're extremely lenient and making sure you are happy is really important to us.

Returns need to be shipped back to the address listed on your packing slip. You will be expected to pay the return shipping cost. If you need to return someting, contact us for further instructions.  

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Since most of our clothes are made to order, we can make some adjustments while printing - For example different placement of the desings (back, front etc.) If you would like to adjust anything, please contact us before placing an order.

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