• im stupid
  • im stupid
  • im stupid

im stupid

Regular price £31.00
Heavyweight (8.5 oz/yd² | 288.2 g/m²) hoodie with direct-to-garment print. Made in WRAP-certified facilities.

I need to stop doing acid. Every time I drop it recently I do something really stupid and I wake up the next day trying to piece together the actions I did whilst high and try to work out if any of it makes any sense.

Did I make a fool of myself? Were those people really after me? Did that cool leaf I found really sing me the song of its people? Everything feels like half truths but in your own memory. Fractured like you've just woken up from a dream however you're unsure what parts are a dream and what parts are actual memories.

It can be torturous and today is easily the worst. I run out to my back yard and see if the small door is there on the wall to my shed but of course its not. Why would there be a tiny 2 foot tall wooden door on the side of my shed? I stare at where I remember it being, puzzled for a second scratching my chin trying to remember.

Last nights a bit of a haze but I do recall coming outside for a smoke and noticing the door here. It baffled me and I remember walking over to it to get a better look. It appeared ancient and although my vision was a little wavy I knew it was real.

I slowly opened the door and to my surprise it was not my shed that it led to, but another space entirely. An old smokey, poorly lit room with wooden furniture and some figures clouded in shadow. They were sat facing a round table playing some kind of card game.

It was only when I crawled through the door did the figures notice me there. Looking confused on my hands and knees, probably a sorry sight. But how could I not look confused with what I was seeing? As I got closer to the table I recognised them.. They were dogs. Smoking pipes! Drinking Whisky! Laughing to themselves over a poker game.

It was surreal. I remember my old history teacher telling me that dogs would do this all the time when they existed. That they were expert poker players and its theorised humans learned the game from dogs. But of course that was just bullshit right? Stuff you tell children at night to help them sleep. But I was looking at it and I swear to you it was real.

They beckoned me closer and pushed out a seat, nodding for me to sit and join them which of course I did. I was trying to keep it together when the bulldog to my left said

"Buy in is $500, you either play or leave."

"I'm sorry but I don't have that kind of cash on me, just my credit card on google pay" I replied weakly.

"We accept all forms of financial transactions including applepay, american express, paypal etc etc. " he told me, pulling out a card machine from under the table and pushing it in my direction.

I couldn't help but feel obligated. Besides this is obviously some kind of dream or mad hallucination. I pulled out my phone and held it above the machine until it beeped, he waited a moment until it was authorised before sliding my chips over to me.

A large St Bernard slapped me on the shoulder like an old friend and the game began. I won a few rounds but it wasn't long before I started losing hard and within an hour I had lost it all. I jokily offered my shirt and to my surprise got another chip for it but that quickly went and I had nothing more to play with and now no shirt. I just sat there with my tits out looking like I was about to cry until one of the dogs said

"This is just sad, you're ruining the vibes in here pal. Can you go back to your idiot loser house and cry alone please?"

And the whole table erupted. Laughing at me. I started to cry and stormed towards the door but had to then get on my knees and crawl outside as they laughed behind me. I ran back into the house and went straight to sleep, totally exhausted by what had just transpired.

But there is no door there now its just my shed like normal. What a crazy dream.

Later that day I go to buy cigarettes and my card declines. I just got paid so I'm unsure how this is possible but when I login to my internet bank I can see $1500 was withdrawn last night. I don't know whats real anymore. I ask the cashier if he's real and he just looks at me dead eyed and says "probably not" and goes back to work.

Size Length Width


27” / 68.6cm

20” / 50.8cm


28” / 71cm

21” / 53.3cm


29” / 73.7cm

23” / 58.4cm


30” / 76.2cm

25” / 63.5cm


31” / 78.7cm

26 1/2” / 67.3cm

32” / 81.3cm
28” / 71cm


Product measurements may vary by up to 2"(5 cm).

If you want to measure one of your products at home and compare:


Place the end of a measuring tape beside the collar at the top of the garment (high point shoulder). Pull the tape to the bottom of the item.


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Our printed apparel can be machine-washed cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with a mild detergent and like colors. Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary. You shouldn't use any fabric softeners or dry-clean the items.


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We ship worldwide. All of our items are printed to order, especially for you. This is to ensure we create no waste by creating a terrible design nobody likes and having to donate 420 preprinted tshirts to landfill. With this in mind, please contact us immediately, if you need to make any adjustments to your order (size/colour changes).

Orders are being printed and sent out daily throughout the week directly from our printing fulfillment centres located in the EU, USA and the UK. Your order will be fulfilled from the nearest print centre to your shipping location.

Current fulfillment time is 1-5 days depending on the items ordered. Usual delivery times are 3 business days after fulfilment for the USA, 5 for the EU and 10 for the rest of the world.

You will receive a tracking link once your order is shipped. Don't be surprised if you only received one part of your order as some items may be shipped from different warehouses depending on stock availability, so will have different delivery times. 

If you're unsure about anything please contact us and we will reply within 24 hours. I spend a lot of time at my computer crying so usually I respond, tearfully, within an hour.



You have 14 days from the arrival date of your order to return your items. We accept returns on unworn, unwashed clothing, that doesn't smell of the tesco cologne you stole from your father. 

Don't be shy to reach out to us if there's any problems or you have any queries, we're extremely lenient and making sure you are happy is really important to us.

Returns need to be shipped back to the address listed on your packing slip. You will be expected to pay the return shipping cost. If you need to return someting, contact us for further instructions.