• im baby
  • im baby

im baby

Regular price
100% cotton t-shirt with direct-to-garment print.
Everyday I see that little prick sticking his dumbass face out of the water. It lives in the pond down in my local park.

And always its the same bullshit.  It see's me coming... I swear it knows exactly what time I'm going to be passing it's little watering hole. I walk my pet ferret around there and she is used to her routine and will start attacking my bare feet if I don't walk her everyday at 2pm.  So this little creature waits for me, safe in the knowledge I can't swim and get my revenge.

And the routine is the same.  When I get close enough, it raises one tiny upper limb above the waterline, flips me off, then very aggressively rips off its entire arm and throws it my direction before going back underwater.

I used to think it was a different axolotl at first, until I did my research and discovered they can regrow all their limbs perfectly AND their spine if they have to.

One day I hope to grow my own spine and dive into that pond with a harpoon gun and hunt it down.  But until then I guess I'll just have to put up with its little act, tormenting me.

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Our printed apparel can be machine-washed cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with a mild detergent and like colors. Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary. You shouldn't use any fabric softeners or dry-clean the items.


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We ship worldwide. All of our items are printed to order, especially for you. This is to ensure we create no waste by creating a terrible design nobody likes and having to donate 420 preprinted tshirts to landfill. With this in mind, please contact us immediately, if you need to make any adjustments to your order (size/colour changes).

Orders are being printed and sent out daily throughout the week directly from our printing fulfillment centres located in the EU, USA and the UK. Your order will be fulfilled from the nearest print centre to your shipping location.

Current fulfillment time is 1-5 days depending on the items ordered. Usual delivery times are 3 business days after fulfilment for the USA, 5 for the EU and 10 for the rest of the world.

You will receive a tracking link once your order is shipped. Don't be surprised if you only received one part of your order as some items may be shipped from different warehouses depending on stock availability, so will have different delivery times. 

If you're unsure about anything please contact us and we will reply within 24 hours. I spend a lot of time at my computer crying so usually I respond, tearfully, within an hour.



You have 14 days from the arrival date of your order to return your items. We accept returns on unworn, unwashed clothing, that doesn't smell of the tesco cologne you stole from your father. 

Don't be shy to reach out to us if there's any problems or you have any queries, we're extremely lenient and making sure you are happy is really important to us.

Returns need to be shipped back to the address listed on your packing slip. You will be expected to pay the return shipping cost. If you need to return someting, contact us for further instructions.