• gnomes ate my son
  • gnomes ate my son
  • gnomes ate my son
  • gnomes ate my son

    gnomes ate my son

    Regular price $24.50
    Shipping calculated at checkout.
    They took him and I was powerless to stop them. The gnomes emerged from the long grass in the back garden with their red hats and ill intentions as he was playing on the swing I built for him on his 4th birthday and I was smoking a newport on the porch smiling. I knew that tiny door in the old tree stump out back was trouble the moment we bought the house. All I have left of my son now are the fingernails that fell off when he clawed at my perfectly trimmed lawn as they dragged him into their lair.

    • 100% cotton corduroy
    • Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile
    • Cotton twill sweatband and taping
    • 6 embroidered eyelets
    • Adjustable strap with a gold-colored metal buckle
    • Head circumference: 20″–22″ (50.8 cm–56 cm)