forced to wipe
Monkey see monkey do. Monkey doo doo? At what point did we decide we all had to wipe our own asses because I don't see any other animal doing the same and they got along just fine. Hell dogs don't wipe AND they greet one another with a big old butt huff. So why was I politely asked to leave the dentist earlier because of my 'odour'. Well jokes on you pal, I've min maxed my day by not wiping, I now have an extra 2 minutes every day to watch cool monki videos on my phone whilst you're out there, a slave to society. Break free of your chains brother. I'm only doing this until I can afford a bidet so I can keep my ass so clean you could eat off of it and that's kinda in the ballpark of what i'm looking for in life.
• Take the first step in returning to monki
• 100% combed and ringspun cotton
• MONKI FLIP
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142.40 g/m²)
• 30 singles thread weight
• Can be used as toilet paper in an emergency
• Side-seamed, unisex sizing
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Our printed apparel can be machine-washed cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with a mild detergent and like colors. Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary. You shouldn't use any fabric softeners or dry-clean the items.
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We ship worldwide. All of our items are printed to order, especially for you. This is to ensure we create no waste by creating a terrible design nobody likes and having to donate 420 preprinted tshirts to landfill. With this in mind, please contact us immediately, if you need to make any adjustments to your order (size/colour changes).
Orders are being printed and sent out daily throughout the week directly from our printing fulfillment centres located in the EU, USA and the UK. Your order will be fulfilled from the nearest print centre to your shipping location.
Current fulfillment time is 1-5 days depending on the items ordered. Usual delivery times are 3 business days after fulfilment for the USA, 5 for the EU and 10 for the rest of the world.
You will receive a tracking link once your order is shipped. Don't be surprised if you only received one part of your order as some items may be shipped from different warehouses depending on stock availability, so will have different delivery times.
If you're unsure about anything please contact us and we will reply within 24 hours. I spend a lot of time at my computer crying so usually I respond, tearfully, within an hour.
You have 14 days from the arrival date of your order to return your items. We accept returns on unworn, unwashed clothing, that doesn't smell of the tesco cologne you stole from your father.
Don't be shy to reach out to us if there's any problems or you have any queries, we're extremely lenient and making sure you are happy is really important to us.
Returns need to be shipped back to the address listed on your packing slip. You will be expected to pay the return shipping cost. If you need to return someting, contact us for further instructions.