jazz for my soul
As a highly adaptable bug, I was able to learn the saxophone to a master level in only 6 hours. Albeit my mind was totally jacked up on modafinil and alpha power supplements I had illegally imported weeks prior but what's important here is the sweet music I was now able to make, down at the beach to anyone who would listen.
My soul was fine tuned to the invisible jazz resonance of the world and I let it flow through my every movement, all of my limbs licking the buttons of the saxophone like I was making love to it as my mandibles kissed the reed and I blew into it, as if I was reinflating a caprisun or if I was spitting bobba tea balls at my grandma.
The dolphins crawled out of the ocean on their bellies to watch me play and they died there, on the sand, as I played my sad ocean jazz.
• Plays unintelligible jazz music when wet
• allows you to play 'careless whisper' with zero training
• 100% combed and ringspun cotton
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142.40 g/m²)
• 30 singles thread weight
• has 2 dolphins on it who do not do drugs
• Side-seamed, unisex sizing
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Our printed apparel can be machine-washed cold, inside-out on a gentle cycle with a mild detergent and like colors. Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary. You shouldn't use any fabric softeners or dry-clean the items.
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We ship worldwide. All of our items are printed to order, especially for you. This is to ensure we create no waste by creating a terrible design nobody likes and having to donate 420 preprinted tshirts to landfill. With this in mind, please contact us immediately, if you need to make any adjustments to your order (size/colour changes).
Orders are being printed and sent out daily throughout the week directly from our printing fulfillment centres located in the EU, USA and the UK. Your order will be fulfilled from the nearest print centre to your shipping location.
Current fulfillment time is 1-5 days depending on the items ordered. Usual delivery times are 3 business days after fulfilment for the USA, 5 for the EU and 10 for the rest of the world.
You will receive a tracking link once your order is shipped. Don't be surprised if you only received one part of your order as some items may be shipped from different warehouses depending on stock availability, so will have different delivery times.
If you're unsure about anything please contact us and we will reply within 24 hours. I spend a lot of time at my computer crying so usually I respond, tearfully, within an hour.
You have 14 days from the arrival date of your order to return your items. We accept returns on unworn, unwashed clothing, that doesn't smell of the tesco cologne you stole from your father.
Don't be shy to reach out to us if there's any problems or you have any queries, we're extremely lenient and making sure you are happy is really important to us.
Returns need to be shipped back to the address listed on your packing slip. You will be expected to pay the return shipping cost. If you need to return someting, contact us for further instructions.