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Everyday I see that little prick sticking his dumbass face out of the water. It lives in the pond down in my local park.
And always its the same bullshit. It see's me coming... I swear it knows exactly what time I'm going to be passing it's little watering hole. I walk my pet ferret around there and she is used to her routine and will start attacking my bare feet if I don't walk her everyday at 2pm. So this little creature waits for me, safe in the knowledge I can't swim and get my revenge.
And the routine is the same. When I get close enough, it raises one tiny upper limb above the waterline, flips me off, then very aggressively rips off its entire arm and throws it my direction before going back underwater.
I used to think it was a different axolotl at first, until I did my research and discovered they can regrow all their limbs perfectly AND their spine if they have to.
One day I hope to grow my own spine and dive into that pond with a harpoon gun and hunt it down. But until then I guess I'll just have to put up with its little act, tormenting me.
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